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Things to Focus On
The other night Kyle and I ran out to the grocery store in the snow to get something to make for dinner. Okay, and I also had some severe gas/bloating/constipation/indigestion problems, due to pregnancy of course, and I needed something to take to help with all of that. So anyway, the grocery store is mostly empty because it's late on a Sunday evening and it's snowing, but there are a couple other random shoppers there too. I spotted someone who looked familiar, but who I couldn't quite place immediately. But when we were practically inches away from each other, I realized it was Alyssa's sister, Kelsey, and a boyfriend. I felt like she had to have seen me as we were in the same isle and nearly brushed shoulders, but she gave no indication that she saw me, and if she did see me, she might not have recognized me. This bothered me tremendously though. I wanted to say hello, and ask how she was doing, how Alyssa was doing, what was new... These are things I would have done if Alyssa and I had stayed friends. I just kept thinking that Kelsey recognized me and refused to acknowledge me, which hurt for some reason. I think it just goes to show that I continue to have strong feelings about Alyssa and our dead friendship, even though I try hard to move on. Moving on seems impossible. It's been over a year since I last saw her. I feel like I should think about her less now, but I don't feel like I actually do. Well, yeah, I guess I do. It's not every day the way it was for so long. But still at least weekly. It's probably worse when I am waiting to hear back from her, as I always seem to be.

I'm just getting frustrated. I know I have better, more important things to focus on. It shouldn't be this difficult. 


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